For those of us whose channel never leaves the Worldwide Leader in Sports (unless it's to see what's on ESPNews or ESPN Classic), I think I speak for all of us when I earnestly request removal of that ridiculously annoying Castrol Oil commercial. For those of you who haven't yet had the displeasure of seeing this advertisement, simply tune to ESPN at any given moment in time, then wait about five minutes as it's on virtually every commercial break. It's enough to make a guy switch over to Lifetime.

Castrol's recent advertising slogan features a man with a red beard, tan jumpsuit and Scottish accent violently whacking people across the legs, face or chest for not purchasing his preferred brand of motor oil. He shouts at oil buyers and car owners, telling us to Think with our dipstick! Isn't that exactly what our fathers told us not to do in high school?

Who's the genius that thought up this marketing campaign and aren't Scottish people in the least bit offended by this? Some violent, roaming stereotype on a rampage beating us senseless to the tune of some whistling Scottish music just for not putting a specific, synthetic oil in our cars?

When most of us pull up to the local Jiffy Lube, we generally go with whatever brand the mechanic suggests. If we happen to change our own oil, in this day and age, we're more likely to pull the cheapest oil off the shelves. If that happens to be Castrol, so be it. It's not like we're going to cough up the extra dollar for Castrol because we're afraid some Scottish lunatic is going to come up from behind us and give us a good thrashing with his dipstick.

If some stranger in a cap and jumpsuit accosted me with a random piece of metal in a nearby Discount Auto Parts for not selecting the lubricant of his choice, I'd most assuredly beat the fake accent off him and make him drink his Castrol. Not that I condone violence, but hey, he started it. I was merely defending myself and my freedom of choice in automotive products.

As sports fans, I think we'd rather be subjected to the relentless Brett Favre and Terrell Owens updates the network is so fond of airing. Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World doesn't get this much airplay but at least doesn't go around violently striking random consumers upside the head to get them to drink his beer. These Castrol advertisements are more violent than Wile E Coyote cartoons.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run to the Jiffy Lube and remain totally unaware of what motor oil they're putting in my car.

Learn more about this author, Chris Humpherys.
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