by Bob Trowbridge

Created on: February 04, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

"The Naked Ape" by Desmond Morris was published in 1967. Desmond Morris is a zoologist who looked at human behavior the same way he would examine animal behavior. Essentially what he found is that men do go for women according to their looks and women go for men according to their ability to support them.

In simple terms, men and women have a drive to pass on their genes. In order to do this successfully, men and women have different strategies. Even today, when we see an attractive woman, we might say that she is healthy-looking. This is a euphemism for a woman looking attractive or sexy. In reality, a more shapely woman is probably healthier than her less attractive counterpart. That, at least, was the strategy of our cavemen ancestors. Choose the most attractive female (or females) and have babies with her. Those babies will have the highest chance of survival. The other strategy for the male is to have sex with as many women as he can, giving him a much greater chance of passing on his genes. This, of course, was limited by how many children he could support. In some cultures, a woman might have more than one mate because neither male was good enough as a hunter to support her by himself.

There is a story told about President Calvin Coolidge. President and Mrs. Coolidge visited a chicken farm along with their entourage. Mrs. Coolidge noticed a rooster having sex with a hen. She asked her guide, "How often does the rooster have sex with the hen?" "All day," he replied. "Tell that to my husband," she said. President Coolidge also noticed this sexual activity and spoke to the guide. "Does the rooster have sex with the same hen all day?" The guide replied, "No. He has sex with a different hen every time." "Tell that to my wife," says Coolidge.

The female strategy is different. The woman can only have roughly one child per year. In order for her to successfully pass on her genes, she must be sure that her children survive. She will also want to have a healthy mate and so will pay attention to physical attractiveness. But more important to her is to find a mate who is a successful provider. The survival of her children depends on her mate bringing home the boar, as it were. So women are attracted to men physically, but ultimately they want a good provider. In this day, when more women are working and capable of supporting themselves, this may be less of a factor.

While a man may be attracted to a woman because of her physical attributes, any man is a fool who marries based on such superficialities and he will have cause for regret. A long-term relationship cannot survive on either partner's looks. Look at celebrity marriages. Without mutual respect, mutual values, and a deep friendship, most relationships do not last. But men are hard-wired to look at attractive women and will continue to do so however truly and deeply they love their wife or mate. The only men who do not appreciate a shapely female are either dead or gay. Other than that, the men who tend to look at comely women are roughly between the ages of 12 and 112.

In some ways I feel sorry for really attractive women because it is more difficult to tell whether a man is attracted to you because he really likes you and enjoys your company or because he just wants to have sex with you. It is quite painful for a woman to believe that a man is interested in her as a person only to find out that he just wants to have sex. The best protection for any attractive woman is to assume that every man is interested in her because she's attractive. It is up to the woman to discern if there is something more genuine going on. Good luck!

Peace

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