by Wahidabi Sulaiman

Created on: June 25, 2009

Human beings have the tendency to independent behavior and they display this even at a very young age. Hence, it is essential that parents understand this and make necessary adjustments in life as the child grows up. This is no hard and fast rule as to how much Independence you must give to a child. It depends entirely on each individual child. Therefore, parents must always be alert and look out for clues from the child and react accordingly.

Firstly, be a role model. Since young, the child will model his/her behavior as to that of either parents. Whatever you do or say, will get picked up by your child. Hence, you have the perfect opportunity to nurture independent behavior to them from young. You can teach them the meaning of being independent and that Independence comes with a lot of responsibility.

Hence, it is important that as a parent, you encourage responsibility in your child from young. This will in turn make them grow up into a matured person and matured person can be entrusted with independence in good standing. When the child is being naughty or do something that he/she was told not to, make sure you follow up with a consequence. This could be in the form extra helping out in the kitchen or confiscation of a precious toy. The intention is teach the child that the responsibility is an important virtue and being irresponsible will end up with the loss of something else.

Nurture your child's belief in himself/herself. Your child needs to be confident in order to be independent. This could be interpreted the other way as well. A child who is independent is more confident of his/her ability. Confidence comes a variety of factors. This could be from being entrusted with more responsibility. It would come from encouragement when the child is performing a difficult task. It could even come from an acknowledging nod from the parent. Therefore, always be sure that you are in no way putting your child down. Every effort is worth the praise or a hug.

Provide the environment where the child will be able to express feelings openly. This is a very important aspect. A child who is not able to understand and communicate his/her feeling, it will be hard for that child to be confident, even less independent. An independent child is vocal, knows what he/she wants exactly. Parents need to provide for this as much as schools and the outside environment. Parents need to channel the feelings in the correct manner such that the child do not feel bogged with not knowing how to express a particular feeling or not know what to do with it. Some children have a lot of difficulty along the way as they are not sure whether what they are feeling are correct. Hence, the need of parents to keep the checks.

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