by Misty Huddleston

Created on: June 24, 2009   Last Updated: June 26, 2009

When you say till death do you part does it mean you must part with being friends with the opposite sex? Unfortunate complications can arise when a married person becomes good friends with a member of the opposite sex especially women.

I have experienced a situation that has made my awareness a little more enlightened. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. I am a girly girl yet I don't seem to connect to women. My husband and I do not have problems that would be considered substantial, so when Allen and I became friends I found nothing wrong with it.

We talked a lot on Facebook, texting, etc. I thought nothing of it and I even told my husband about everything we spoke about. Until, one weekend we were chatting like normal and my husband freaks, stating that I'm in love with Allen and that he's just trying to get in that sack with me which is so far from the truth. He is a happily married man and yes he talks about his wife, as do I talk about my husband.

Yet the jealousy that consumed my husband made me have to tell my friend I had to quit talking to him and upon talking to other women, I have realized that this is not just an isolated incident. The bible says men & women can be friends but to be leery of temptation. It has not been scientifically proven but after talking to 12 married women between the ages of 30-40 it is almost a unanimous consensus that in a small town like we live in it is deemed inappropriate and you can't be married and have male friends.

On the other hand the 12 men in the same age range I talked to(I work in construction) said that they believe it fine to be friends with women as long as its kept private. Double standards in small towns obviously exist and it makes me wonder has my friend kept me a secret from his wife yet I held our friendship close to my heart and talked about what good friends we were to everyone. I thought about keeping my own dirty little secret and however divorce is not that desirable to me since I love my husband very much and would never do anything to hurt him. Does this in fact mean that being open an honest does more harm than good?

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