by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: June 24, 2009   Last Updated: June 28, 2009

You are worthless. You are not deserving of happiness. All the faults that were insinuated were true. You could not make anyone happy. You were wrong. You don't know anything. You were horrible as a friend, a confidant and even worse a lover. Now that all of that garbage is out of the way, it is time for the truth. You are a person. You have the right to be treated with respect. Never forget that. Ever!

There is no formula for a good break up to any relationship. It seems that the break up of a relationship that lasted only a matter of days or weeks can be just as painful as one that lasted over the course of years or even decades. Cast civility to the winds, there is no joy in dissolving any relationship.

We are all victims of our own emotions. When we are abandoned, we feel the distance. When we are abused (physical or verbal), we feel the hurt. When we have decided to move on, we must clear it with our inner being. Sometimes we fight to maintain a sort of normalcy, keeping things status quo, though our lives lead us elsewhere. So why do break ups hurt? Because your partner, or better stated, your relationship was part of your being. It is hard to change yourself or even picture yourself heading out into the unknown, to some a scary proposition, to others a reprieve.

All relationships are organic. Like a beautiful flower, they have to be nurtured, watered and given the right amount of fresh air. But as the seasons change so do certain emotions. Can a relationship survive the hardships that come financially, emotionally, socially, spiritually and even physically. Is it true that a woman wants a man to change and a man wants a woman to stay the same? Maybe not, because in effect, it can never happen. Change is always inevitable.

There are 5 easy steps to surviving and moving on after a bad break up. They are listed here. Follow the steps that best suit you and you can shorten the duration of the "repair" time to any emotional hurt following the break up itself.

#1 People break up. It happens everyday. Your hurt will be no more or less emotional than that felt by any other going through the same thing. It is just a matter of extremes. Since a great number of people do go through (and eventually survive) a break up, find someone out there to talk to who can really relate to where your head (and heart) is at the time. Talking things out, much like confession, is good for the soul.

#2 Bad mouthing your partner is not getting you to closure in the relationship

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