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asking me to marry him; he thought about it and said he was. So I said yes, but put the provision that I would keep my maiden name. He thought about it, and agreed, but said that I would also answer to Mrs. ___. I agreed.

We married about two weeks later. The fact that our names are different has presented a few problems, because some people seem to still believe that a married woman who goes by her maiden name isn't really married, but just living with a man. It also means that, in order for my husband's name to be listed in the telephone book, since the phone is in my name, I have to pay extra to get his name listed, also. I don't know that it would cost to list my name if the phone was in his name, if my name was the same as his; I haven't asked, and won't, because I don't go by his name anywhere. But I do answer if I am called Mrs. ____; I have no problem with that. Some people look at us a little funny when we tell them that my name isn't the same as his, but that is their problem, and not ours.

Even Social Security accepts the two-name married couple these days. We have had no problems with Social Security, or any other entity. It is only people who seem to think "inside the box" who have a problem with our names not being the same. I say, if you and your intended both agree on the two names staying as they have been all your lives, that is what you should do. Or he could change his name to yours-or both of you could hyphenate! No one else has the right to force you to change your name just because they are uncomfortable with the two being different! Viva la difference!

Learn more about this author, Barbara A. Black.
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