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I was thinking. Based on numerous carneceria storefronts and restaurant walls, I have concluded that besides seeing a buxom Aztec maiden being carried off (to be sacrificed? to give her a rest from walking?) by a strong Aztec man unconscious or in a state of complete surrender there is one overwhelming Mexican turn-on.

It is the woman, on her knees, patting tortilla dough so vigorously that her sleeveless Mexican blouse has slipped off her shoulder, causing the neckline to swing precipitously toward the realm of imagination.

Well, just imagine if your husband or boyfriend were to return home to just such a scene. It could be just what el doctor ordered.

However, many of us don't know how to make tortillas. I am ashamed to confess I am one of these witless wonders. But what if I were to improvise?

Yes, I've come up with a plan, perfect for those intermittent times when your loved one starts to feel like a roomate. Play-dough. You heard me.

The next time your man returns, let him find you on your knees, patting some Play-dough into the shape of a tortilla, or perhaps making the always impressive Play-dough snake. Put some elbow grease into it and wear a sleeveless Mexican blouse. The sight of a woman so occupied in busywork that she can hardly keep her clothes on is, to a man, like the color red to a bull. I should know. I've seen it on the walls of carnecerias and Mexican restaurants.

*Note: No feminists, expect maybe myself, were harmed in the writing of this article.

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