Low self esteem can not only cause hindrances in the way you deal with life, but can damage the relationships you have with the people you love most. Your spouse will have difficulty respecting you if you have no respect for yourself. Your children will not be able to look up to you as a role model if you don't set a good example. You certainly can't show someone else how to build healthy self esteem if you don't have any of your own!

Taking responsibility for your attitude and your reactions to other people Is a big part of making relationships work, but reaffirming your own worth can have an impact as well. Instead of constantly whining to your significant other or children about how hopeless everything seems, take control. Verbally state that you are having negative feelings about yourself, but that you choose to do something positive instead of griping. Make a plan, then perform a task or act of kindness - and realize how good you feel about yourself.

This shows the people you care about that they too can control how they think and feel about themselves. No-one else has the power to define them. Good self esteem is something many parents and spouses still have to work on, but letting loved ones see the struggle and victory can encourage them to support you as well as tackling their own issues.

True self esteem and self worth is developed not overnight, but over a lifetime. Self confidence may ebb and flow, and our self image undergo many phases, but there is always a way to improve such things if you accept the responsibility and the power to do so. Letting your low self esteem damage your relationships is not acceptable.

The other relationships that your own self esteem issues can damage include ones not yet formed - if you are single and have poor self esteem as a result of past abuse, you may be perpetuating that cycle inwardly, replaying the audio burned into your brain:

- I am worthless

- I am ugly / fat

- I am stupid

- No-one can love me

- I am unworthy of love

- I am so screwed up

- I don't deserve happiness

- I destroy everything I touch

- I am hopeless

This type of negative self talk can destroy any hope of a good relationship before you even say hello. You are so busy defeating yourself the relationship never has a chance. Start reminding yourself that you do deserve good things! Build up a positive self image and self esteem until you feel comfortable and relaxed in your own skin. Then you can pursue good relationships without carrying all that excess baggage!

Learn more about this author, Grace Alexander.
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