by E. Tillery

Created on: June 23, 2009

Tears streaming down my face and the daycare workers telling me she will be fine this is how I will always remember the first time I left my daughter with strangers. This was the first day I had to go back to work. My daughter was three months old and every minute we drove to the center that morning I tried convincing myself that it had to be done and it would be alright. Something about not having a choice to go back to work made it so much harder. You would think that I had plenty of time to prepare myself and I knew the day would come. I knew since I became pregnant that I would be a single mom and that the burden was on me. I saved as much money as I could and thought I would be able to stay home at least 6 months. I was not prepared for the money to run out when it did and for me to have to leave my cocoon and turn my precious baby over to the world.

I've always had people say how much love you have for your child and that it's indescribable and I have found that to be true. I would do anything for my little girl and would stop at nothing to make sure she's safe, happy and healthy. She came into the world in chaos, but her presence was the calm after the storm.

I went into labor at 32 weeks. My little one decided she was ready to see this world I had been telling her about. My water broke and my labor had to be induced. Apparently neither of us wanted medicine to force what nature should do on its own. My blood pressure went through the roof and my angel's heart beat began to drop. As quickly as I was whisked away into the ER, with my mother by my side, she was born. We both had it rough and after several episodes of not breathing my daughter spent the first few days of her life hooked up to machines and sleeping in a warming bed. For the first 24 hours I was unable to see my daughter. For a whole day I didn't know what my child looked like except for a Polaroid picture my mother brought me. It was so unbearable I had to work harder than ever to get out of the bed and get to my child. The nurses said they had rarely seen someone recover so quickly. Like my mom says my mother bear came out. It's this strength within you that can make you do things you didn't know you could do.

After going through so much with one another our bond was deeper than I could ever explain. Every moment she was sleeping or awake I had dreamy eyes and all I spoke about was my love for her. We were in our own world,

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