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Low self esteem in dating is cause for "settling", a syndrome that includes lack of self worth or self acceptance in finding a compatible partner or one's true love.. When one tarnishes their own self image, they are in fact being dishonest to those they attract. In fact, most relationships with one or both partners exhibiting low self esteem tend to be built with a false foundation. These include emotions such as I need you instead of I love you. You complete me because I need your reassurance that I am a complete person. I have become somewhat co-dependant. Low self esteem can even alienate one from dating altogether.

Psychologically, the partner with the low self image may have been suffering from it for years. They may have been abused or told they were worthless when they were younger. They may have been alienated within their own family. They may just have been an introvert. They base all relationships on how they have learned to accept themselves. Most of the time, this is an unfair personal assessment.

Partners to those with low self esteem run the gamut of being domineering to exhibiting a savior trait. The domineering dating partner can manipulate their negative feeling counterpart's behavior and actions. An askew reward system through manipulation. The savior type lays out just how lucky their partner is to have found someone so wonderful to complete their life. Both types are dishonest to a dating relationship, it is all a matter of degrees on just how much.

The opposite end of the dating spectrum is the recluse. They feel they are not worth dating so they just don't put themselves out there. Why risk the embarrassment? Why risk the hurt? Why waste time in pursuit of something that will probably fail in the first place? The recluse is almost a social shut in. They may have friends, family and acquaintances that fill the dating void, but the fact that low self esteem has shut them off from any romantic pursuit may leave them unfulfilled. They put their energies elsewhere, like pet ownership or maybe a self absorbed hobby. Being able to function and live with yourself by yourself is an admirable trait, hiding from others who would gain so much from being with you is a bit destructive.

The dating world today comes with a set of its own complex issues. These range from basic compatibility to time constraints in a busy world to sexual repercussions. The the basic tenet in dating today is to accept yourself, both openly and honestly, before you decide to give of your time, energy and most of all your heart.

Learn more about this author, Mj Ferruzza.
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