by Faye Lewis

Created on: June 23, 2009

Regarding behavior, the word normal refers to conforming to what a general populous considers "conventional" and "acceptable"; with lack of any significant, clear divergency from the "status quo". Defined, the word means "conforming to the standard".

But what is normal exactly? Can we honestly define it with four measly words? Who sets this so-called standard? Do we? Society? Media? If every individual has a separate, complex selection of moral idealisms, a unique composition of personality traits and seperate beliefs instilled into their hearts and minds-can we all be crunched into one group?

Is it fair to even consider normality as a logical possibility in the diverse world we live in today? Shouldn't we, at least, have a say in what normal should be? Do we?

Would it be cowardly to blame the society we live in for what we consider improper, anomalous, bizarre, or just plain unnatural? Is it just human nature to cast out the unknown without the opportunity to being exposed? Haven't we all, at some point, felt the sting of rejection? Is this why we resent normal?

As children society grooms us to fit inside a box and offers positive reenforcement for compliance. Every individual is programmed to accept things certain ways depending, not only upon environment, but concepts that manifest based on morals. When an exception, a...let's say... "flawed" idea, person, belief obstructs that boundary we've unintentionally created, we're immediately shoved into an awkward situation. Natural response says to snub out that obstacle, so we ignorantly reject it.

These differences not only create new doors for us, but invite curiousity. Everyone at some point in their life struggles to "find themselves". When those things we so believed in are tested, we break down barriers and hurdle over what we've been taught to explore change. However, what we often fail to realize, by doing so, don't we conform to just another standard of normal?
Vague? Let me elaborate.

Imagine yourself as a child, look at the steps you've taken to get where you are today, and think briefly at your ambiguous stages when you didn't know who you were-so you became what others wanted; be it your parents, your friends, your school, media, peer pressure, what have you.

Remember the dread? The feeling of uncertainty and that unwanted knot of emotion in your stomach? No one in this room can honestly say they've never, at some point in their life, felt that. So, if normal is defined as "conforming to the standard", is that not one? Have we all, in being what others wanted, been "normal"? And in being what others didn't, doesn't that definition still apply?
The irony in the word normal is...everything, regardless of how "unique" it is, submits to normality.

And to answer the question: Why do we resent normal? We don't. We can't.
Normality, like goodness is something that can't be defined by someone else's standards, but varies from person to person. In order for us to truly be happy with "normal"; we must define it by our own means. There may be a social standard, but there is only one real bar that matters-your own.

Learn more about this author, Faye Lewis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.