by Linda Burleson

Created on: June 23, 2009

Webster's collegiate dictionary describes relationship as a connection, association or involvement. How important a relationship is in your life depends upon the depth of the connection, association or involvement. Unfortunately, in human relationship, these sometimes are deeper on one side than the other. There are all kinds of relationships: friendship, marriage, significant others, familial, and severance of any one of these can cause emotional distress in one or both parties.

Marriage, especially with children involved, becomes a tangled web of much more than emotions. There are financial issues, what to do about living space, custody issues, visitation issues, personal property issues it goes on and on, often inflicting deep wounds, yet over half of all marriages end in divorce.

Relationships only truly work if there is real commitment on both sides; however, one party that is truly committed often perceives more commitment from the other party than really exists. This is a recipe for trouble and eventual separation. The committed person naturally is going to have more difficulty coping than the other.

Coping becomes an issue any time a relationship breaks up sometimes for both parties, sometimes for only one. To be able to successfully cope requires self-confidence and self-respect. The best way to deal with the separation is to be able to recognize what actually happened to cause the severance. Rarely does one incident or event suddenly cause the break up. If one can assess all the lesser things that lead up to the final eruption of emotion, one can at least determine not to let it happen next time.

The problem is, where emotions are concerned, rationality falls by the wayside. A really good cry, whether one is male or female, sometimes helps to clear the fog and help one face tomorrow. After the outpouring of tears, take a good look in the mirror and take a mental inventory of what you have to offer. Assess who you are and what you want from a relationship, or for that matter, life. Then go out and do something you have always wanted to do, even if it's expensive. Pretend to enjoy life, and before long you will. Tell yourself multiple times each day that tomorrow is another day. It does not hurt to sometimes take a page out of Scarlet O'Hara's manual. She, after all, was the ultimate survivor.

You must love yourself to truly love someone else, and you must love yourself to be loved. There is something very charismatic about someone who knows him/herself and exudes confidence. The old saying about inner beauty being as important as outer beauty still carries weight. Do not rush into another relationship. Get to a point in your life to enjoying your own company. This will lead to another relationship. It could even breathe new life into the severed one.

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