by Bonnie Christiano

Created on: June 23, 2009

Having children adds a whole new dimension to a marriage. Before kids, a marriage is a partnership. After kids, a marriage becomes a family. Though family is a wonderful thing, it is important that a marriage does not suffer with the addition of children. There are things that you can do to ensure that your marriage remains happy, even after new members are introduced.

WORK TOWARD A COMMON GOAL

Child rearing is a tough job. The best thing that you can do for a marriage is to set the ground rules for raising your children. Sit down and talk about your parenting style, how you discipline, how you handle day to day parenting duties. Being up front about how you will raise your kids will diffuse many an argument.

COMMUNICATE

Communication is key in a marriage, whether children are involved or not. It is important that spouses communicate. Talk about everything, things that make you happy as well as things that upset you. If you only communicate when something is bothering you, then it is too late. And it is too easy to only talk about child related issues. Don't forget to ask about your partner's day. Show that you still care about the person you married, not just as the father or mother of your children but as the person you fell in love with.

TAKE TIME FOR YOU

It is important that you take time out for yourself. Getting burned out can be a hazard of parenting. When you are frustrated from a tough day of diaper duty, take a minute, an hour, an evening to unwind. Take a hot bath with some of your favorite music to melt away the frustration. When you interact with your spouse in a state of anxiety and irritation, it wears on the relationship. If you are in a happy place, it is easier to put your marriage in a happy place.

DATE NIGHT

Spend time together, just the two of you. Taking care of baby is extremely rewarding but it is a necessity for you to spend quality time with your spouse. Whether this is a date night out to dinner and movie, or a night in playing a board game, reconnecting will go a long way in keeping a marriage fulfilled. If you don't have a babysitter or someone who can watch the baby, create a date night in. When baby goes to bed you can snuggle on the couch watching a movie. And make sure that if you stay in, the night is dedicated to date night no dishes, no laundry, just time together.

Remember, being a parent is one of the most important things you can do. However, you also have a responsibility to uphold the vows of a marriage. Working to keep a marriage happy can only lead to a happy family, baby and all.

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