by Edward Earl

Created on: June 23, 2009

Life is a constant, unending stream of choices. Yes or no, left or right, right or wrong, all come flying at us on a daily basis and our choices are then scrutinized, analyzed and dissected by those around us. Regardless of what the consensus is or whether our choices are popular and lauded or deemed evil and denounced, our choices are something that only we can take responsibility for. Though there may be underlying pressures and forces working on us, the outcome of our choices is our ultimate responsibility. Taking responsibility for our own behavior requires humility, selflessness and most of all, forgiveness.

William Shakespeare said, " In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility." In our world today of haughty self appreciation and, "me, me, me," humility is a behavior seen less and less. It makes us choke on our pride and recognize there are other people on the planet and that the planet itself does not revolve around us. I have a teenage daughter that needs to learn this skill. The world does not owe us anything. Real people, the decent backbone of civilization, realize that hard work, dedication and a willingness to share what we do have is far better than hording, selfishness and a lack of concern for others.

Selflessness is pretty dang self explanatory. It doesn't require a definition or a quote from some well known deep thinker. It is what it is. Yet, it is a little more complicated than the old cliche, "there is no I in team." Life is not a team sport. Our behavior is not something we can attribute to our band of brothers and BFF's. It is ours and ours alone. If we would just exclude ourself from the top of our priority list our behavior would bear the fruits.

Sadly, the worst of our behavior can be attributed to unforgiveness. I know most of mine is. We all have had times in our lives that we refuse to forgive someone for. This translates into anger, abuse, excess and other negative behaviors that we then require forgiveness for ourselves. An infinite circle of wrongs and hurt. One of the greatest examples of tolerance, Dr. Martin Luther King, said, "he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."

Even still, despite what was done to us or what we deemed was done to us, it is no excuse for the circle. We cannot blame others for our own actions. We don't need to go on Dr. Phil and whine about the injustices done to us and use them to remove our guilt. It is time we all started owning up to our wrongs, pointing the finger at ourselves and then finally, opening the floodgates of forgiveness by both asking for it and freely giving it. As John Lennon so aptly said, "Imagine all the people, living life in peace."

I recently decided to take responsibility for my own behavior. It did include some humility, some selflessness and a considerable amount of forgiveness. The kind of forgiveness that is so very rare these days. I was awestruck . As reprehensible as my behavior was, in finally owning up to it I was met with compassion on the grandest scale. It changed me forever. It showed me that goodness still exists and made me want to be better. The person showing me this compassion has convinced me forever to be more compassionate myself. I am eternally grateful.

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