by Billie Meyers

Created on: June 22, 2009   Last Updated: June 26, 2009

Parents' personalities and temperaments are just as varied as those of children; therefore the one-size-fits-all approach is perhaps least appropriate when it comes to disciplining children. Many parents likely would ideally avoid the use of spanking to discipline; however, personal experience gained in raising two daughters who are complete opposites in many ways, tells me that for some children spanking must remain an option.

A significant number of European countries have banned spanking. The reasoning behind such a ban is sound: corporal punishment often escalates to abusive levels; and distinguishing between acceptable punishment and abuse in some cases can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. However, if we apply this same reasoning to other common occurrences, the reasoning falls apart. For instance, even if properly restrained, a child can be killed in a car crash. Are children still allowed to ride in vehicles? Yes. Appropriate measures are taken to ensure that the child's chances of surviving an accident are as high as possible, but the chance of death is still there. Spanking, when done by a loving parent whose intent is to raise a child who knows right from wrong, is an acceptable discipline method and should remain so. Sure, it can and does go wrong when frustrated, out-of-control parents spank their children, but a ban on spanking is not the answer.

What is the answer? Many think that a new law is the answer, and some ideas such as requiring couples to obtain a parenting license before the birth of their child seem to make sense. However, it is a good idea only in theory. In reality it would be ineffective. The couple might attend the parenting classes to obtain the license, but how can the government ensure they practice what is learned? Even if they could, what about those whose religions dictate alternative parenting techniques? Is a frustrated, out-of-control parent likely to remember what he/she learned in a prenatal parenting class anyway? As much as we'd like to live in a perfect world, we need to understand that a perfect world will never exist. Extreme caution should be exercised by those in a position to limit the rights of parents. The answer to child abuse is not a ban on spanking or licensing parents. Another law is not going to change those inclined to lose control anyway. However faulty, we have systems in place to protect children from abusers, so instead of creating new laws and more bureaucratic nightmares, we should strengthen the systems already in place.

Many think the word 'child' is synonymous with 'innocence,' but anyone who has worked in a school will likely tell you that children can be very manipulative. Children need to know that their parents are the ultimate authority when it comes to them. We should be supportive of parents, not take away their rights as parents. What's next? In time will parents be arrested for saying the wrong thing to their children? Those of us who are parents know that parenting is perhaps the hardest job in the world. We know going in that we are going to make mistakes. When we do mess up, we have to move on, hoping that next time things will go better. What if parents risked being arrested every time they made a mistake disciplining their child? All parents would be in jail; wouldn't they? Besides, spanking is being unfairly attacked. Many children of previous generations were spanked and went on to become happy and successful adults. Human beings are resilient that way.

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