by Sarah Torribio

Created on: February 04, 2007   Last Updated: April 06, 2009

You hear bass thumping from your kid's room and your coffee cup is trembling to the worried beat of a kick drum. An unwholesomely passionate voice with implicit street cred is busting indecipherable rhymes. The moans of a tortured soul and an English accent are wafting through your house. It seems like you have no choice but to listen to your teen's music. But are you really listening?

There's a very real chance that your teen drawn to is not drawn to just the noise of rock music, or the beat of hip hop. They probably care about the words. As a die-hard music fan and a writing teacher, I have discovered something about a lot of today's music. Those moans, warbles and diatribes are often brilliant.

If you have a relatively well-adjusted kid, past the pop heartthrob phase and into books, movies and- if you're lucky - their English class, he or she may truly be looking to feed the mind when they choose their CDs and downloads. Teenagers identify with their favorite musicians and are proud of their discernment, so when they read lyrics to you or ask you to put their CDs in your car stereo as you chauffeur them around, they are trying to share a bit of themselves with you.

Let them share. If you hear something truly disturbing, then you've got the perfect opportunity to discuss your concerns. Give it some time. Rather than fighting over the radio or engaging in a shouting match on the way to school, use the music as a launching point for a later discussion where, if it's possible, cool heads prevail. Figure out what you're talking about, too. A song that seems to objectify women may be speaking out about rape. A song that sounds suicide-inducing dark may actually have kids talking about how to survive depression. And, as evinced by the humorous book, "Scuse Me While Kiss This Guy," which highlights famous misheard lines, you might really have no idea what the musicians are saying. That's where the Internet comes in.

Know your child's music, and don't be afraid to express any concerns you may have. If you hear something impressive, though, by all means, compliment it. The identification teenagers feel with their music is so intense that to compliment a teenager's taste is to compliment your teen. And, there may really be something to compliment.

The Killers is currently one of the hottest bands in the United States. Tickets to their past shows have sold out in a matter of minutes, not hours. Chances are, your happy or disappointed kid wanted to go because of hits like

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>