by Joan Inong

Created on: June 22, 2009

Cheating is universally defined as a bad action. Those who cheat will always be treated in a negative way, and usually will have to face consequences. However, people have different definitions of "cheating." If you are in a new relationship, it is a good idea to set out the guidelines that both people must follow in order for the relationship to work.

First, cheating is when one person seeks another person, out of the current romantic relationship, to fulfill his or her needs and desires. When this definition is taken into consideration, the person who is cheating is most likely seeing another person and doing activities in any way, shape, or form that constitutes a romantic relationship (which includes holding hands, romantic hugging or kissing, etc.). Most people will agree with this definition of cheating because this definition takes into consideration the feelings of the people involved. To extend the definition further, we can also add that once that form of cheating occurs, the relationship, for the most part, will fail (whether in the short or in the long run).

On the other hand, some people also believe that cheating doesn't occur unless the person who is cheating has actually made love to another person outside of the relationship. Kissing and hugging, therefore, are not actions that constitute cheating to these people.

But, if we redefine what a relationship is, then we find that that "exclusion" in defining cheating cannot be made. Exclusive relationships demand that both people involved are only romantic, in any way, with one another. Any actions that are "relationship-related" that are performed on people outside of the relationship constitutes cheating.

Some people have a lenient definition of cheating, which is why they may include the "exclusion" principle above, and still others will have a very strict definition of cheating. We cannot say that the latter is a jealous lot; in fact, we can say that they are following traditional, exclusive relationships. Similarly, we can't say that the former is a flirty and cheating lot; perhaps they have different definitions of what a relationship entails. Our definition of cheating is one that is very conventional, but it does not mean that those who follow that definition are being too strict. Most people, in fact, believe that definition nonetheless.

What matters is that in any relationship the definition of cheating must be made. If not, then both people are at risk of misunderstanding each other and creating a relationship that is bound to fail.

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