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wants and needs without ever becoming aggressive towards other people. This person may choose on occasion to be passive, but this is by choice and not because they are forced to. They do not swing into aggressive behavior, because they know that this would infringe on another person's rights.

The "Aggressive person" attempts to take away the rights of other people. They may be a bully using violence or threats to get their way. They attempt to dominate others with no respect to the feelings or rights of the other person.

Being an assertive person is where ideally, we as humans should strive in the many relationships within our lives. Although the pendulum swings either direction, it should be our goal to sit as close to the center as possible on most issues within our life. We may choose to allow a little old lady to shuffle her way into a checkout line up ahead of us (passive behavior) but we won't ever bean her over the head with our handbag for doing it (aggressive behavior).

Keep in mind that becoming an assertive person, unlike most things in life, takes practice. When you are first learning to be assertive, you may swing wildly to either side of the pendulum. It's okay, as you become more assertive and much like the pendulum on a clock swings, it will balance out. You will slowly stray less from the center as you become more visibly able to see which range of the pendulum your emotions and actions are at. Again self control and learning are the keys to success.

Only you can change who you now are. Keep working at it and practice will make it perfect. You will become an assertive individual. To find Online Assertiveness programs simply Google "assertiveness training". There are hundreds of Internet sites which deal with this topic but if you can, try to stray toward Government, Educational or Medical sites, dealing with this topic.

Take A Public Speaking Course:

It can be very difficult for the average person to really speak out and be heard, but for a person who suffers from shyness, it can be next to impossible. It is in our nature to want to quietly hide in the shadows rather than stand out in the spotlight. Public Speaking courses such as those offered by Toastmasters, are designed to aide people in overcoming their fear of public speaking.

For some of us it takes time, learning, practice and patience to effectively learn to communicate in an assertive manner. A public speaking course helps with this process. As well as providing an educational base, it also offers a support network of individuals who all suffer from the same problem as yourself. Knowing that you are not alone, as well as simply having others to discuss your difficulties and triumphs with, helps public speaking programs and are well worth the monies and time invested in them.

For more information on the history of effective communication, please visit: Public Speaking. This Wikipedia article explains the history and historical processes of public speaking.

Remember that you must not withdraw within yourself. It is so easy to just shy away, especially when you are experiencing low points in your life, but you must force yourself to not give in to this urge. It is very important to get out and continue to participate in all the little processes of living that make it worthwhile.

Practice will make you feel more comfortable in your increasingly assertive role in life. This is your training program and you set the pace. Just remember to fight your natural desire to want to step back into the shadows, force yourself to be seen and heard.

You may never know when it begins but at some point, you will find it easier to speak out, to be in unfamiliar places and to be among people that you do not know. At some point you will actually begin to feel comfortable greeting and speaking to casual acquaintances. The feeling of unfamiliar, will become familiar to you and you will not be so afraid of venturing into it in the future.

Just get out there and play! Shyness can be overcome. You just have to fight your natural tendencies to want to hide away within yourself.

Sources:

http://www.toastmasters.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P ublic_speaking

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E xtraversion_and_introversion

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/ view_doc.php?type=doc&id=9 778

Learn more about this author, Ladymermaid.
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