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Pain, regret over time invested, resentment, hard feelings, sadness and even depression are direct by-products of a bad breakup. I think most adults at some time or another have experienced these strong emotions which, at the time, are overwhelming. Actually, you just feel like going back to bed and putting the covers back over your head to shield you from any more hurt.

A person seeks shelter in any consoling cave they may find. Good confidential friends who have huge listening ears are also sought. Just anywhere you can find quick relief is sought, but sometimes that relief is not as available as getting a hot burger from the fast food restaurants. Yes, relief from a bad breakup sometimes put you not only in a haze, but in a maze.

Here are some real tips which can help anyone who has experienced a bad breakup:

1. First recognize that despite your optimism that things would work out, they have not. So face the truth and tell yourself, "It is over!" That point of truth is pivotal to you coming to grips with the reality of it all. Of course, you might have a glimmer of hope that things can be mended, but in many cases too much damage has been done and it is time for you to look at your Plans A, B, C and D.

2. Next evaluate what caused the breakup - was it you or the other person? Be honest with yourself and review the good times and bad times you had together. Face up to the fact of how your personalities blended or did not blend. Try to figure out who was the aggresor and who was too passive.

3. Write down, if need be, the cycle of your relationship. Try to see it visually on paper. Map out how it got started and track the turns in the road that led down to the cul de sac or dead end. Try to analyze on your own why things just didn't gel.

4. Face the truth. That's the hardest part of it all. Remove yourself from the situation and look at the whole adventure as an outsider would. Pretend you are another person or even a counselor and give yourself some shots of reality and truth. Don't hide behind excuses and grand hopes that never materialized. Be forthright with yourself.

5. If the pain is too intense, borrow the ears of a confidential best friend. Pour your heart out and get his or her advise, however, know that that advise might not fully fit your case. If you have several friends with whom you can confide and you feel comfortable doing it, bring them in momentarily.

6. Don't have any pity parties for yourself. Know assuredly that all adults face

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