by Cheryl Williams

Created on: June 22, 2009

Some rape victims are irresponsible. Are all rape victims irresponsible? No. Does being irresponsible mean that a victim was "asking" to be raped? No...just as a person who leaves his keys in his car is not asking to have his car stolen. Still, it increases the chances that his car is going to be stolen if a car thief happens to walk by.

Having worked with a population of rape victims, it became apparent to me that these women often set themselves up to be victims by many of the unwise decisions that they make on a frequent basis.

1. When a woman hangs out in place that is known to have a dangerous history wearing clothing that is very revealing, she becomes vulnerable to an attack.

2. When a woman is in a public place drinking heavily or doing drugs, she is also being irresponsible for she is not completely in control of her mind or her body. A potential rapist will see a woman such as this as an easy target.

3. When a woman gives her home or work phone number and address out to a man without any knowledge about the person, she is being irresponsible. He could show up at her house or follow her home from work.

4. A woman is also irresponsible when she appears too eager to please. Rape is a crime of control that has gone out of control. A rapist longs to manipulate and overpower a woman, so if a rapist sees a woman who is easily manipulated, he views her as the perfect target.

5. When a woman decides to meet someone from the Internet or a phone chat line for the first time, it is the height of irresponsibility to meet that person in private. Any such meeting needs to be done in a public place, and the woman needs to let someone else know the details of the meeting. There are horror stories of women who have been raped or even murdered at the hands of someone they have met from the Internet.

So many women are nave when it comes to the relationships they embark on. For a woman to assume that just because a man has money, good looks and manners he is a great catch is horribly nave. Where does his money come from? Does he have a job or is he a drug dealer? He may be handsome on the outside, but how does he look on the inside? He may be polite, but does he use that politeness to use and manipulate?

Women need to remember that they are in control of their bodies and minds. Anything that hinders that control makes it easy for them to become rape victims. They also need to remember that their manner of dress, speech and demeanor tells potential rapists if they will be an easy target.

Rape victims can be irresponsible, and by learning to be more responsible they can decrease their chances of being a victim.

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