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Many people think they have settled for less in their marriage. I have felt that way at times. I am sure that my husband has felt that way at times as well. However, I have been married for over twenty-five years and getting a divorce is not something I would consider at this point in my life. Settling for less is not necessarily a bad thing. People are not perfect so it stands to reason that a marriage will not always be perfect. For most of us, living happily ever after is a series of compromises, a give and take, a sharing of the good and bad times.

What, exactly, is settling for less in a marriage? Is it a tangible or intangible quality? I think everyone would have a different definition of what "settling for less" means, when it comes to marriage. We have had more than our fair share of problems in our marriage. We have had to contend with alcoholism, mental illness, Alzheimer's, financially supporting family members and numerous other obstacles. We have somehow managed to work things out. Marriage is a partnership. I love my spouse, and I know he loves me. I stay because we work at our marriage, we are great friends and we support each other emotionally. What is so wrong with that? I have a beautiful daughter, which is the greatest gift my husband has ever given me and whenever we hit a rough patch, I always remember this.

Marriage is hard work. People often divorce when things get tough. Sometimes divorce is inevitable. If there is abuse in the marriage, you get out, immediately. Some things are unacceptable and we all know that. Divorce is a personal decision and only the people involved know what is right for them. That is not what settling for less is all about. Settling for less is accepting the fact that once the honeymoon is over, the day-to-day monotony of everyday life becomes the norm for most of us. When you stay with the same partner, year after year, you learn how to work things out, to communicate. Just because part of life is monotonous, it does not mean that all of it has to be. As the saying goes, life is what you make it.

The monotony of day-to-day life is going to exist no matter whom you marry. The elusive search for the perfect mate can involve several marriages, divorces and you still end up nowhere. If you have children, the effects on them can be damaging. When children are involved, a marriage is not just about you and your spouse. You cannot, and should not, build your whole life around your spouse. Happiness is an internal

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