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For many years, the marriage and the family of John and Kate Gosselin was a very nice story which has clearly turned into something quite ugly. The media, who apparently only know what they hear from other parts of the media, have attacked them as being greedy, selfish, bad parents who are exploitive and irresponsible. Most of them don't have any idea of the real story of this family.

Neither John nor Kate desired to have the massive family they have. Yes, Kate had fertility treatments which raised the possibility of multiple births, as with their twins. They had no reason to believe that they would end up with sextuplets (there was also apparently a seventh fetus for a while which didn't develop.) Because of their religious beliefs, they chose not to reduce the number of children Kate was carrying. Miraculously, she gave birth to six and they are all still quite healthy at age five.

One of the facts that usually gets ignored by the critical media is that both parents had jobs when the children were born. Kate worked as a nurse and even after the sextuplets were born, she went back to work on the weekend to help with their huge financial burden. Raising a family of eight is not cheap and this is probably where the television show came into it for the couple. Not only were their current expenses huge, (they couldn't exactly live in a two-bedroom apartment, or drive a four-seat car) but all the other things which families normally save for, especially their children's college education, were virtually impossible. The money provided by the television show helped deal with the financial issues, as did books and magazines. The Gosselins were now making enough to pay their way and even save for the massive expenses of their children's future education.

Unfortunately, as their lives evolved and they became television stars and not just two people trying to raise a big family, the dynamics of their relationships changed. The burdens of raising that many children no doubt led to a lot of stress for them anyway and then the travel and demands on their time added to it. Plus, the reality is that many married couples have stress and difficulties and often grow apart anyway. This might well have been happening to John and Kate.

Neither of them seems to understand the fact that they are on television virtually every day would put a spotlight on them and neither of them has reacted well to the public scrutiny which has come their way. It is also not clear how well those around them have acted. Kate's brother and his wife, Jody, were a major part of the television show for the first several years. They have been talking to the media extensively during the recent publicized troubles. They've apparently been paid to tell what they know. Whether that is true or whether they're just relatives that mean well and are looking out for the eight kids, no one really knows.

Perhaps the most important matter is how all of this will effect the eight kids. When asked if the intrusive nature of the television show is a problem for the children, Kate usually dismisses it by saying, "Oh they're used to it." But no one knows what the long-term effects of the lights and cameras will be on the young Gosselins. The book Kate wrote, which she's so often been on the road publicizing, was named "Eight Little Smiles," after the children. One hopes there won't be a sequel about them in fifteen years called "Eight years of therapy."

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