by Elinda Harrison

Created on: June 21, 2009   Last Updated: June 23, 2009

Do we really need Mother's & Father's Days to show our appreciation?

Good question. Do we need a December 25 to appreciate Jesus Christ's birth? Do we need Easter to appreciation his ascension to heaven? Do we need a day to celebrate Thanksgiving? None of these calendar occasions are about need. It is not a question of need, but more a case of tradition and dedication. My father just died on June 3, 2009, 18 days ago. Today is my first father's day after his death and I'm having a very emotional day. A mother's day or a father's day is needed as much as a President's Day, a Flag Day, or any other marked day on the calender. Do we need them? No, but I am very pleased that we have them.

I faithfully celebrate Christmas and love all the different ways we show our appreciation for Christ's birth. I love the trees and their decorations, I love the candles and the presents. I love the smells of the celebratory meals! All of it is just wonderful and special. I think many of us may love the tradition more than the true meaning of these occasions. But when it is mother's or father's day, it is pretty hard to lose track of what we are celebrating and why. My father died after a brief illness on June 3.

His death was unexpected and sudden. He was young enough that we expected another 10 to 15 years or more, but he's gone. Although all of us (my siblings and I) are all grown, we have always called him Daddy. We miss him very much. So many children evolve from Daddy to Dad or Pops, we didn't. We live in different parts of the country, so Father's day was regularly a card for Daddy and a phone call.

Today is my first fatherless Father's Day. Many people I know lost their fathers very early in life. A good friend of mine lost her dad when she was 14 years old. He never saw her finish high school or college. He didn't get to see her get married. He was not around for her son's memorable moments that Grandfathers enjoy. Her son did not get to go fishing with his Grandpa or sit with him at a major league game. I now see why she would get emotional sometimes when she remembered those milestones of her life.

I am having an emotional roller-coaster day. I keep wondering how or if I should have been more thoughtful. I wonder whether or not I paid him enough attention, every day. Although with Daddy just passing away, I don't need a reminder, I feel in the years to come, I will be thankful for father's day, because it will allow me moments of reflection on our relationship and lessons learned.

A mother's day or father's day isn't needed to show our appreciation; but, it is a wanted and desirable calender day (s). I want to show extra appreciation to them both on their respective days and feel that many of us feel the same. I am very pleased that we have them.

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