by Melinda Glover

Created on: June 21, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2009

Blood is thicker than water. Its a figurative saying we have all heard and while many still believe it to be so, there are thousands of families in todays society who would beg to differ, my own included. Is the blood which runs through our veins what makes us, and those whom we share a home and life with, a family? No, it isn't. Families come as varied as the people in which they contain, and there is no one set type of family which is the right type, or the norm. While many are made up of a group of people who are connected by blood, many also have little to no blood ties whatsoever and all are still a full and functioning, normal and happy family.

As a once family of four, before divorce reduced us to three, my ex-husband was and still is a wonderful father to my two sons. They do everything together, share a wonderful bond and have a happy and healthy relationship, which has not suffered even after divorce, yet, their father only shares actual DNA with one of the boys. Has that changed his relationship with our oldest son? No, it hasn't. The love he has, and the relationship he shares, with the pre-teen boy who is not his biological son, is no different than that of which he shares with our six year old who is. As for the biological father of our eldest, he has very little influence in the boys life, is hardy ever heard from, and is known to our son as just a friend who visits sporadically. In our little family is blood thicker than water? No, it most definitely is not, and we are just one of thousands of families who share in this same belief, and lifestyle.

Adoption is a commonly practiced act in our society, and for those loving parents who are unable to conceive, it is a blessing. When adopting a child, unless a private adoption within a family is the case, there is never a common blood tie. The children who become part of these families are complete strangers who become the offspring of the adopting parents. Does this small fact, no blood ties, make them any less of a family? Does it mean the adopting parents will love the child any less? Or that the child will love his or her parents less? No, it most certainly does not. Once again, prevailing evidence to support the opposing debate that blood is not thicker than water.

Family types and sizing are just one area in which the argument can be supported. Another area would be, simply put, loyalty, trust and respect. In a perfect world, our family or more specifically, blood relatives, would be the individuals in which we could trust with our deepest secrets; depend on to be there for us, to be loyal and respectful, and be the people in our lives who would mean the most to us. Unfortunately, the world we live in is far from perfect. People, regardless of who they are or whether or not they are blood relative, can be cruel, and anything but what we expect them to be. Often in life, we discover that it is the people with whom we share no common DNA that tend to mean the most to us, are the most loyal, and are those with whom we share the most cherished relationships. These people could be our spouses, friends, step children or co workers, and although none of these have blood ties, which would categorize them as "water" within this debate, the bond we share with them are thick and solid none the less.

Is blood thicker than water? No. Its not the blood that travels through our veins, and the veins of those we care about, which builds love and commitment. Blood is just that, and is not what makes up a family, a friendship, or any other relationship.

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