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Forgiveness is a concept that holds much power for those seeking release from the past. However it needs to be approached with a clear goal in mind and a deep understanding of why one would wish to forgive in the first place.

Does one forgive because we feel it is the "right" thing to do or do we forgive because our religion tells us that we should? Perhaps we forgive to release the other person from their own guilt and of course we forgive to release our selves from our own past. Of course sometimes we just do not want to forgive because of old hurt and you know what- that is perfectly valid as well. However what we do not want is to hold onto the hurt and make ourselves suffer indefinitely. So let us look at some different approached to forgiveness.

To keep this easier for the article let us assume that "Mr X" is the one that has acted in a way that has hurt you. He may have caused you mild annoyance or done something that has deeply hurt and traumatised you. It matters not the degree of suffering for at the end of the day pain is pain and if you are suffering then at that moment you are experiencing all the suffering that exists and you are feeling it deep within you. I write this for those who love phrases such as "there are other people worse off than you". Thank you for adding guilt to the suffering! When you are in pain ,you are in pain and trying to alleviate it by comparing yourself with others does not help in the long run. Your pain will still be there and worse of all it can fester into something physical. So we need to deal with Mr X effectively and thus release ourselves.

1) Religion

So we have a spiritual practice that tells us we should forgive. Why? I was amazed as a child whenever I would ask this direct question. First would come surprise and then a response obviously designed to keep me from asking further questions. So why would I forgive purely based on religious concept and how would it benefit me here and now? We all the know the concept of forgive now and earn a place in heaven. So, ok, I forgive Mr X now so that when I die I will go to heaven. Mr X is reprieved and I now have to wait, with my resentment which I guarantee will still be there and a little extra guilt thrown in, for death to bring its rewards. What a way to live!

2) Doing the right thing.

This is very similar to the point above, though perhaps from a more spiritual side than a religious one. Here again Mr X is forgiven because we feel that this is how we should

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