by Tamara Haddock

Created on: June 21, 2009   Last Updated: June 17, 2011

Dear Johnathan,

It seems only yesterday we decided we were ready to have a child. Now we've reach the point where you could be here any day. I won't lie, I'm completely terrified. Nights are spent wondering if I'm going to be good enough. My days are spent counting your kicks and wondering if you know how much we love you. It is amazing it is to feel your feet pressed into my sides.

There is so much in this life that I want to show you, so much I want to share. I keep thinking of the lessons I've learned and what will be the best way to teach them to you. I want you to feel like you have it all even if I can't give you all the material goods you'll want. The first thing I want you to learn in this life, is that it's ok not to have it all.

The most valuable thing a person can have is personality, followed closely by friends you can count on. If you ever make friends that try to change who you are then it's time to leave them and find ones that appreciate you for you. Not the image you create for their benefit.

I might not always be the best mother. Someday I won't even come close. I'll get mad at you when I'm having a bad day. I'll forget your best friends name, I might let you watch to much TV or eat to much junk food. There are hundreds of things I could do wrong. I just want you to know that even when I'm drowning in all the things I'm not doing right I'll still be trying. I will spend the rest of my life trying to ensure that yours is the best it can be.

I'm not perfect, its something you'll learn. Your daddy isn't perfect either. We are still the closest family you have and we'll do our best raise you right and to teach you the differences in right and wrong. Even if sometimes you might not think our approach is right. We will always give you the reason for the lesson not just the point. If you ever have to wonder why your in trouble it's a sure sign we're doing wrong.

There are things we grew up with that you're going to miss out on. The difference is you're going to be raised in a city where we were raised in a small town. The things we knew you will have to learn of from second hand knowledge. While sometimes it saddens me to know how much of the good you'll miss out on, I believe we made the right choice. Here you'll have opportunities. There are the resources for you to become anything you set your mind to as long as you are smart enough to know where to look. I'm going to do my best to make life run smoothly while teaching you to run it on your own.

When you get old enough to leave us it'll break my heart to watch you go, but I'll smile through my tears with the confidence that by then I'll have taught you all you'll need to know to make it out in the real world. I might have to let you learn a few lessons the hard way but for the most part I think you'll do fine.

No matter what happens, I'm here for you, I love you, and I promise I'll do my best to be the kind of mother that makes you proud to have a place you can call home.

Forever with love,

Your Mom

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