by Kendra Allen

Created on: June 20, 2009   Last Updated: June 21, 2009

Do the targets of your flirtations often vanish while visiting the restroom? Are the regulars at your favorite bar becoming regulars somewhere else? Are the pages of your Little Black Book filled with wrong numbers? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, it may be wise for you to enlist the services of a professional Matchmaker.

Before beginning your search, however, it's a good idea to identify your most blatant character flaws. A consultation with your therapist might do the trick, or possibly brief conversations with ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, and/or ex-acquaintances. Under no circumstances should you ask your mother.

Once you have a reasonable understanding of yourself, it's time to seek out your Matchmaker. Do not rely on catchy names or flashy Yellow Page advertisements while choosing, but insist on a face-to-face interview with each one. Use the information you collected about yourself as a guideline and choose a Matchmaker who is different than you in every way; there is no reason to assume a person with similar traits will have a higher success rate than you.

Now comes the most important part of the process your interview. While describing yourself, it is crucial to conceal those traits which have derailed your love life in the past. Try to describe yourself as the type of person you would like to meet; an accurate portrayal is likely to result in being matched with someone as objectionable as yourself.

In time, the Matchmaker will probably choose several candidates as your soul mate. Insist on photographs! Don't expect too much, since these people are in the same boat as you. In fact, you should be careful to choose the photo of the person you'd be least likely to hit on at a bar; it would be a shame to go through all this just to have your date go home with someone else.

When the actual dating begins, don't be discouraged if requests for a second date are rejected; you should be used to this by now anyway. Persistence is your key to your success. Don't be afraid to keep the pressure on your Matchmaker; their business is built on reputation so most will move heaven and earth to find someone who can tolerate you. However, be prepared to compromise a little more with each arranged date; remember, at this point in your life you have nothing to look forward to but celibacy.

Good luck, you'll need it.

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