by Joan Inong

Created on: June 20, 2009

Whenever a person finds someone new, the pertinent question that he asks himself is, "Is this love or lust that I'm feeling?" It seems as though our uncertainty is encouraged through our natural fear of rejection, dejection, and commitment. If we want to make a relationship serious, we have to be sure that the other person is also willing to make that relationship serious.

Dating, especially, poses problems. When people are first dating, they naturally have more inhibitions about each other. The level of commitment that should be present in most serious relationships does not exist just yet. What do the people involved have to depend upon? Words and actions. And, even those two are infamous for being hurtful.

So, how do you know when your feelings are real? What is the difference between love and lust? Are you really in love, or just in lust? The answer to these questions can only be found through some patience and a little bit of testing.

First, you can only know the answer to those questions if you have given yourself enough time to find the details to answer those questions. For instance, you cannot expect to give an answer to those questions if you have only been dating for a few weeks. Once you have known each other for a longer amount of time, you will be able to tell whether your feelings are real or not.

The one thing that you cannot do if you want to answer those questions truthfully is to make yourself believe that you are happy when you are not. As your relationship progresses, you as a person must also progress. And, if you are a true couple, you must progress together. If you have any doubts that your partner does not feel about you as you do for him or her, then you should probably try to fix that or end the relationship.

Another method to find out whether your feelings are true or not is to stay away from your partner for as long as you are able. Remember, "absence makes the heart grow fonder (and wiser)." If you miss each other, and miss each other for the right reasons, then your feelings are true.

But, you can only test your answer once you and your partner have had a big fight. If you weather the storm, and you both come out together and intact, then your feelings are true and the relationship holds. However, once you do find your answer, don't ever be hesitant to ask yourself the same questions again and again. As your relationship grows and changes, so should you.

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