A third wheel can spin the balance of any relationship out of control and into a bad rut. However, what do you do if the third wheel in your relationship is your own child? Finding a balance between parenting and a marriage is a tricky process, but hey, we have three wheelers don't we? Anything is possible.

The most important aspect that many parents lack in a relationship is time. Time just for your children, time just for your partner, time for just yourself, and time together. When any one aspect begins to consume more time than another does, the balance of the relationship is disrupted and one party is left unhappy. Unhappiness then leads to conflict which leads to the break down of happy families.

The best way to have a happy marriage when you're busy parenting is to make time. No excuses. Whether your child is at school, day care, a sitter, or simply napping be sure to take that time and apply it. Spend time with your partner, or even just have some time to yourself. Alone time is an aspect of healthy a relationship that is neglected almost as commonly as your partner is. Self-sacrifice will only lead to the same end you are working against.

Interlinked with time comes favoritism. Before your child/children your partner had you all to their lonesome. They were your one and only, the most important thing in your world, and then along comes baby. Most parents don't want to admit being jealous of their own children but it happens.

I remember playing a game once with my husband. It presented questions and a list of optional reactions and the point was to pick the reaction of your partner. I was shocked when presented with the question, "If your house was burning would you save your spouse or your children first?" My husband answered my spouse. I would have said my children without a moment's hesitation. He said that while we could make more children as a couple, I was irreplaceable. In that moment, I realized he had taken a back seat to our child, intentionally or not and the root of our newly growing relationship problems bloomed before my eyes.

Remember that perspective is everything. If you create the perspective to your mate that they are second to your children, and not equal, they won't feel equal. A lack of equality in a relationship will unquestionably, again, upset the balance.

All in all the key to having a happy marriage while being a busy parent is just that simple, keeping the balance. Keeping the communication about that balance open and clear, and remembering that all couples fight. It is the ones that don't that never last.

Learn more about this author, Unwirklich VinZant.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about How to have a happy marriage when you're busy parenting?
We want to hear your view. Write now!