by Chrita Paulin

Created on: June 20, 2009

Many couples make the grave mistake of always putting the children first. In this society we are lead to believe that in order to raise happy, healthy children we have to pour all of our time, money and resources into putting them into sports, taking them on play dates, and engaging them in social and cultural activities. Parents run from one place to another, toggling between children, keeping social activity calendars and rearranging work schedules to ensure that the children don't miss a beat. The children's lives are highly organized and the marriage is left gasping for air.

Parenting is a natural extension of a married couple's life but it is not intended to replace the commitments that they made to each other. Couples should view their marriage like a flight on an airplane. The attendants will always tell you when traveling with small children in the case of an emergency you always put your safety gear on first. By ensuring that you have secured your air supply and life jacket you can be better equipped to then help your child. The same should hold true with your marriage. If you work hard to ensure that you and your spouse are happy, and are taking care of each other's needs you will be better able to handle the stress of parenting. In addition, if you are communication with and keeping your relationship healthy, your spouse will be more willing to help with the responsibilities of parenting.

So how do you keep your marriage strong and fresh while also taking care of the job of parenting? Here are a few suggestions:

Renew your marriage daily. Sometimes making time for your spouse seems difficult at best. After working all day, taking care of children all day, doing homework, etc., it seems like there is just not enough time. However, if you take even a small moment to be with your spouse and make the moment special it will rejuvenate your love and your spirit. Try setting up a midnight date. Meet your spouse somewhere in the house where the two of you can just be together, look in each other's eyes, breath and talk, uninterrupted. If your children crawl into your bed, take the date to the guest bedroom. Hold your spouses hand, lay on their shoulder, or even laugh about the times you had before you had the children. The bottom line, keep the communication open and the romance going. If a midnight date is two tiring for you, put the children to bed and take a nice hot shower or bath together before going to bed. Teach your children that

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