by Amanda Roberts

Created on: June 20, 2009

It seems like every school aged child has at least one extracurricular that they schlep to and from each and every week. It has become normal for us to assume that every child should have their own list of weekly engagements to keep them engaged and help mold them into the perfect little well-rounded citizens for those college applications of the future. But the truth is, some children are not going to take to extracurriculars right away, and that is completely normal. In our parent's generation, kids did not have all these options for afternoon activities, so not having band or choir or dance or whatever other activities are offered are not going harm you children, but inactivity can.

If your child is not up to joining a club after school or on the weekends, then you need to encourage them to stay active on their own time. You can do this by instituting an "unwired" time after school where your child has to entertain themselves the old fashioned way (running around, reading, playing their drum set). Having this time and truly spending it with your child will help them to develop interests and see what they really excel at. For example, if your child seems to want to run around during unwired time, try taking them to the local park and having them play with other kids or take the time to teach them a variety of sports. If your child is into quieter activities, try introducing them to photography or print out a field guide to your area (birds, bugs, mammals, trees, etc.) and try to find all of the animals on your list. For bookworms, plan frequent trips to the library and encourage them to read a book along with you (normally your child's teacher can recommend books that are on grade level). Compare what you got from the story to what they got out of it. Talk about everything from characters to hidden meanings. Getting your child to identify and open up about their interests with you will make it easier for them to open up with their peers.

Once you have helped your child to indentify their interests, try to find another child who has these interests. A cousin, a neighbor, or an old mommy and me classmate with the same interests will give your child a person (besides you) to share their interest with. Try to encourage them by providing accesories for the interests they share (books on sports tactics, tapes and CDs of the music they want to play, or a guide to what they really like be it the stars or the birds) and by giving them the time to share what they know with your family even if you do not have identical interests.

Once you have followed these steps to cultivate the interest that your child has, try sitting down with them and brainstorming ways for them to learn more. Telling them are clubs at school or in the community that match their interests might peak their interest now that they know what they really want to do. If they are still hesitant, provide assurance and ask them to try just one meeting of the club or organization. If after that first meeting, back off and give them the space to stay away from organized activity and encourage them to continue their relationship with the friend who has mutual interests. Some children just do not feel comfortable or do not find an appealing activity for a couple of years. So give them time and be encouraging and after a few tries they should find where they fit in.

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