by Milton Johanides

Created on: June 19, 2009   Last Updated: June 21, 2009

We've been married twenty-five years and our marriage is still as fresh and exciting as it was the first time we met. Okay, slight exaggeration, but somehow we have managed to keep matters interesting. How? The answer is simple and complicated at the same time. First of all, I think what works for some people doesn't work for others. At first glance, my wife and I would not seem suited to each other; different backgrounds, different temperaments. But we got together and stayed together for the right reason. We love each other.

That is the simple part of the answer. It may sound corny, but at the end of the day, that is still the best reason for getting married. I knew when I first set eyes on my wife that I never wanted to spend a day away from her and she tells me she felt the same way. That gives you the glue you need to get through all the other stuff which is not so attractive. As the vows say, richer, poorer, sickness, health... There are so many ups and downs in a lifetime together, that it's a miracle how many people stay together so long.

Now the complicated part. We are always fighting. This does not sound like a recipe for success and the kids hate to see us do it. But I think in a strange way the fighting helps to keep the spark alive. That is why I say what is right for some people is not always right for everyone. Most people might think it strange that a couple who so quickly come to blows (metaphorically speaking), can still end up happy and curled up in each other's arms at the end of the night.

We have both agreed (one of the few things we do agree on), that we would hate to be one of those couples who just sit around all day, perfectly compatible, but with absolutely nothing to say to each other. For us, that would be a recipe for disaster. We are both strong minded and egotistical and cannot live except by getting our own way. This has created an infinite number of possible permutations for our married life. Sometimes she comes out on top, sometimes I do. I find myself lurching from happiness to misery and back to happiness again within a matter of hours, depending on how events turn out.

Without the glue to keep us together, without that unconditional love we both feel for each other, we would not have lasted twleve months together. But no matter what happens, even if she has thrown me out of the house, or stormed out of the car in the middle of the highway; in no time at all, we are both desperate to be in each other's arms again. True love. We are a volatile cocktail, and I'm looking forward to a rumbustious old age together... assuming we both make it there!

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