by Robin Tidwell

Created on: June 19, 2009   Last Updated: August 05, 2009

Becoming attached to one's baby is not usually something that one must give a lot of thought or effort to doing. In most cases, a woman who wishes to become a mother will have become bonded to the child while he is still in utero; some women sense a near-instant bond at birth.

For these new mothers, becoming attached to their child usually progresses smoothly and quickly. Sometimes, however, there are bumps in the road, such as nervousness and tension, distractions, or even the health of either mother or child. Adoption, too, can pose its own set of problems.

When these issues arise, there are many things a new mother can do to improve the relationship. To begin with, relax and enjoy your new baby. Very few people can ever say they actually dropped a baby, or accidentally injured a baby; hardly anyone has ever unintentionally damaged a child so severely that he couldn't recover. Take time, as well, to examine the marvel of this small bundle - go ahead, count her fingers and toes, look at those tiny nails and button-nose. This is your child, created, living, alive, and who came from you, her parent. Marvel at this tiny miracle.

Feeding a baby, whether by breast or bottle, can help create a connection. Whether the much-touted skin-to-skin method is used, or a simple cuddle, feeding not only provides contact but nourishment. Providing sustenance cannot but help create a bond between two individuals. This, of course, is the main reason a parent is cautioned not to prop a bottle but instead to hold and assure and comfort the baby during feeding.

Daily care, likewise, promotes attachment. Just as an individual will feel closer to one with whom she undertakes the responsibility of any type of attention, such as changing, scheduling, playing and interacting with, that individual will also form and strengthen a bond with her infant. Talk to the baby - will she understand all that is said? No, but the tone will come across loud and clear: soft, encouraging, interested, gentle.

Occasionally, a new mother may feel very little for her child. This often is attributed to health issues, or feelings of incompetence, or even a secret wish to have not become a mother in the first place.

If a mother doesn't feel well, physically, she may have little interest in the baby; if the baby has health problems, the mother may also be fearful of attachment, believing that potential loss will be too much to bear.

Maternal health and recovery

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