by Eileen Schmidt

Created on: June 19, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2009

Do I place more trust in people or God? For me, this is an easy answer. People. I grew up with a very religious background, yet I have little faith in the God that my family has attempted to teach me about. I was taught that God comes first in all aspects of life. He should come before my children, before my husband, before my friends and family, before myself.

Why? Why should I put my trust in a being that I cannot see? Why should I trust One who has never held me when I have cried, who has never talked me through a crisis, who has never put food on my table or money in my pocket? Why should I allow myself to trust a being who instills hurt and pain onto others and who sends the message that we are not all created equal? A supposed Supreme Being who punishes those who do not believe what He wants them to believe? Why should I trust God when He is a character in a book written long ago in a land far away? It reminds me of a fairytale, or a "fish-tale" as some may call it.

I put my trust and faith in those around me who are a part of my daily life. I put my trust and faith in my children, my husband, my friends and family, myself. These people are in the here and now. These are the ones who are trustworthy. I know that my husband and I are the only ones who will put money in the bank and food on our table so that we may eat. Not God. I know that we are there to love and cherish our children until the end of time. Not God. I know that if something horrible were to happen, we are there for each other. Not God. We are the only ones to keep each other warm as WE pay the utilities. Not God. If I trip and fall, who will pick me up? God? No. My children, my husband, my family, or my friends. Whoever is near enough to hear my cry will lend a helping hand to pick me up off of the ground. I am not speaking spiritually, I mean physically. I may be able to trust God with my secrets and know that He will not tell a soul, but he has no physical voice to do so. He has no hands to pick me up, no money to pay the bills, no shoulder to cry on. I cannot trust Him alone with my children. For example, if I were to go to work and tell my children that God was watching them today, how well do you think that would go over? If anybody caught wind of it they would probably call child protective services on me for leaving my children unattended. If I testified that they were not unattended, that God was watching over them for me, I would probably get a plea bargain of temporary insanity and my children would still be taken away from me.

I think that it is great that people have a spiritual being who makes them feel safe, who they can worship, who they can put all of their trust and faith into. Some people need that. I am not one of those people. I look for who is here in our lives right now. Can I trust you with my life? Can I trust you with my children and their lives? Can I rely on you to be honest and safe? People do that. Not God

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