by Smithie

Created on: June 19, 2009

Parenting and writing are incompatible endeavors. They both require the same resource, which is your time, attention and focus. That doesn't mean, however, that it is impossible to do both. It will simply take some creative thinking and a little bit of support from family, friends or perhaps complete strangers.

The first and most difficult rule of becoming a writing parent is to write every day. This rule is important just for the writing's sake, but it become especially important when trying to balance dual roles. Write every day, even if it is just a short amount of time.

The second rule is to find help. It is not impossible to be both parent and writer, but it is ever so much easier with a bit of help and support. If you have family or friends that can volunteer to be with your children for a few hours a week, you will be carving out valuable writing time.

The third rule is to take care of yourself. It is impossible to be all things to all people and that includes your children. Remember to take a few hours each week or a few minutes each day to do something to renew yourself. Your creativity will demand it, your children will benefit from it and you will retain your sense of wellbeing and patience.

So, how to accomplish these three rules? Here are some tried and true tips from a hard-working, mom/writer.

Write in the morning or in the evenings before your children get up or after they go to bed. For me, I wrote at night as I have the tendency to be a night owl anyway. If your children are older, you can leave breakfast on the table for them in order to buy a few extra minutes of sleep.

If your children are small, write when they are napping. It is likely you are exhausted as well, but use this time to draft or outline. If you are tired, don't use this time for editing as you will likely find yourself face down on the keyboard.

Finding some help can be as simple as setting up play dates with other moms. Times that the kids are entertained that you can steal a few minutes here and there to put in some time. Science tells us the human brain can only focus for 20 minutes at a time anyway. So, use those small blocks of time wisely. Get used to sitting down and writing, even if it is just for ten minutes.

Use Craigslist to set up a babysitting co-op. If you don't have a ready-made community of people willing to exchange babysitting time, you can make your own by using resources such as Craigslist, the local paper, a campus paper, or other free publications.

As for finding time to take care of yourself, again, condition yourself to use those small blocks of time throughout the day, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever you can manage. Take up meditation or yoga. Even gentle stretching and breathing exercise can give you a much-needed boost of energy. Eat well and take a walk with your children every day. They will love being outside with you, and you will be getting your daily dose of exercise, a crucial part of self care.

It may seem impossible to find the focus to attend to your children as they need and still attend to your creative voice, but it is possible.. a few minutes at a time.

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