by Nan Keltie

Created on: June 18, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

Are your children thoughtful? Do they pick up after themselves? Are they helpful with house and yard work? If not, consider this: children who are taught responsibility are less self-centered and more mature for their ages.

When should responsibility training begin? At what ages and stages are children able to contribute to the family team? How do parents introduce the concept of responsibility and reinforce its value?

Babies and toddlers ~

Children understand more than we think and are able to do more than we expect. Using word games, songs and activities, teach your child responsibility. As you pick up toys, the following words are sung to the tune of Farmer in the Dell. I put away my toys, I put away my toys, I'm big enough to help at home, I put away my toys!

Even babies learn that behavior brings consequences. If you've told her something is hot and she touches it anyway, she quickly learns that HOT is something to avoid. If your son throws his sippy cup from the highchair, don't rush to pick it up. Take your time, and remind him that we don't throw things on the floor. If he does it again, put it out of reach. He now understands that throwing his cup means you will remove it.

Preschoolers ~

Preschoolers are always on the go. Putting things away, finishing a task and carrying their own belongings takes too much time! We can't expect preschoolers to do things they are unable to do, but we should certainly expect them to do what they are able to do. Preschoolers like to feel needed and will enjoy songs and activities that reinforce responsible behavior.

Have your son carry his own lunch box, book bag, etc. when on-the-go. It may be faster to do it yourself, but training him now saves you time later. He can also help with simple chores at home. Some things you can reasonably expect him to help with: making beds, packing lunches, setting the table, folding laundry, etc. Work together and talk about how he has been a big helper.

Elementary Students ~

When students learn personal responsibility, they do better in the classroom, at home and everywhere in between. It's very important, at this age, for things to be fair, and they find a certain security in rules. A wise parent capitalizes on this while continuing with responsibility training. Make a handful of sensible rules and explain the consequences for breaking them.

If sports equipment is left outdoors at night, it's taken out of circulation for a day or two. If this seems harsh, consider the alternative

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