by Peggy Lindgren

Created on: June 18, 2009

"Empty nest" is not just a term used when you suddenly find yourself without children to parent. It involves deep and real emotions. The empty nest creates sadness, anxiety and anticipation. Sending your first- born child into the world is easier said than done.

To recognize these feelings and find ways to cope will help us to move forward and accept of this new lifestyle. No one said it would be easy, however, with the love and support of family and friends, you will find new challenges and possibilities.

~Tip #1

Accept that what you are feeling is normal and shared by many parents. It is assumed that moms are more affected; however, Dads are equally impacted by this change. As a couple, support one another and encourage each other to express those feelings. If a single parent, reach out to a friend or family member who will offer understanding.

~Tip #2

Take some time to settle into the new lifestyle. The house will be quiet and feel empty. Music can bring comfort and joy to your life, so turn on the stereo and enjoy listening to your kind of music, without the kids making fun of you.

~Tip #3

Cry if you feel like crying. This is a time of many mixed emotions. You are happy your child has reached this new level in their life, yet it leaves you feeling less needed and necessary. The truth is your child needs you more than ever. This is a difficult time for them as well. Leaving home is exciting and at the same time, a bit intimidating. Tears will fall at times you least expect them. Allowing your self to express whatever it is you are feeling, is part of the empty nest process.

~Tip #4

Time will give you new perspective. It is true, that time heals. It may take a week, month or a year to be comfortable with this new phase in your life. Everyone is different and there is no perfect guideline. Time will allow you to think about the direction that you want your own life to go. Spend some time reflecting on new personal goals and aspirations.

~Tip #5

Focus on your own self. You have spent eighteen years giving priority to your child, their needs and their busy lives. As parent's we do this willingly and would never change a moment. It has been a happy and wonderful time in the life of your family. Give new consideration, to what may fulfill your life now that this new phase has begun. Remember a hobby you once had that you enjoyed, or find a new one.

No one ever said this new phase would be easy, and that is a simple-truth. Raising our children to be independent, successful members of society has been a great and fulfilling challenge. It is important to remember, your young adult still needs you in their life. That will never change.

It is possible to accept the empty nest phase with dignity and a new excitement for the future. There are plenty of personal adventures out there, waiting to be discovered.

The greatest benefit of the empty nest will be the good night's sleep you will receive. About the time you are adjusting to this new life, summer break will appear and you can kiss those quiet, sleep-filled nights, good-bye.

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