by J Richard Karlsson

Created on: June 18, 2009   Last Updated: August 27, 2009

As a first time parent, we were expecting our child some ten years ago, after reading plenty of books and advise articles on parenting one of the important practices of being a parent, we decided that spanking should not be an option. The thought of physical punishment did not sit well with how I believed a child would learn right from wrong. Further more, I also felt that a child that feared their parents would never be close enough to share the most important secrets a child will hold and overall closeness they need to share with their parents.

So far I know in my heart we are doing a good job raising our son without having to raise our hands and spank him, he is courteous to his friends, other parents, teachers, coaches and just about everyone he comes in contact with. I admit he did not develop that way by not spanking alone, it requires the ability to teach them the lesson of right and wrong without spanking, the lesson still needs to be taught.

When our son was about six years old, he and a friend were involved in a mischievous afternoon, where they proceeded to throw rocks and break several windows in an old building in our neighborhood. It was brought to my attention that my son and his friend were involved, once questioned he had told me the truth. I called the other boy's father to come and meet with us so that we can repair the damaged glass and dull out proper punishment. The father removed his belt and spanked his child several times which caused severe pain and embarrassment, although I think I was more embarrassed than the child. After they left, without repairing or talking about the damaged windows, my son asked me if I too would be using my belt.

After a long thought process of how to "punish" my child instead of spanking, we went to a local hardware store and together replaced the broken glass, all the while trying to make a significant point and still quite shocked with the spanking had just witnessed. I took my son to the sports shop and bought him a really nice Schwinn bicycle, I told him that if he ever felt like breaking windows or damaging some one else's property he should ride the bike, if he had ever damaged any property I would give his bike to our church and it would be a very long time before he ever received another bike.

The moral of the story is punishment is meant to deterred someone from committing the same offence again and to help guide them on a path of the straight and narrow. A child's love and understanding takes years to develop and grow, spanking has no positive impact on a child's development and in fact is a negative lesson that is taught. If you are quick to strike your child, they to as they become older will feel it is the proper way to handle a bad situation.

Being a parent is a very huge responsibility, raising your child to be a productive human being is by leading from example, do well in life and you can expect the same from your child. No one is perfect, we may all slip up from time to time, but I can never believe that there is anything good that is taught to our children with spanking, good old fashioned as it may be, I long talk is all the punishment my child can handle

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