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Depression is an illness that is often misunderstood. Many people believe that depressed people can just change how they feel instantly and that it is about circumstances. This is true to some degree however many people suffering with depression do not have the proper skills to control and handle their emotions. They lack the coping skills that most people develop throughout life and allow their emotions to control their actions often in very unhealthy ways. I have been on both sides of the depression scenario. I was clinically depressed for eight years from the age of 12 to 20. During that time I went to various counselors and did not find solutions to my problems. I also became very interested in alternative treatments for depression, because that label kept being thrown around like the diagnosis made things better.

During that time frame in my life I did not have the ability to control my emotions in a positive way. Unfortunately, when it came to support, I did not have adequate or sufficient networks of people to help me deal with my emotions. Certainly, there are some individuals that are struggling with a chemical imbalance that needs treatment with medication. However, I have found that in my work as a minister and life coach there are a wide variety of people who are being treated for depression with medication and not seeing proper improvement. These individuals are just masking the bigger problems rather than learning proper coping skills to deal with what can sometimes be a very difficult world.

Seven years removed from my most recent bout with depression, I am now helping others to cope with their own emotional issues. There are some fundamental truths that every person can benefit from learning if they are willing to look at the world from a different perspective. When you are trying to help a family member or friend with depression, one common mistake is trying to talk them out of the way that they feel. This is common because we want people to feel better about their situations. That is however the counterproductive approach because if we persuade people to feel differently just because we have told them to do so, they have not learned proper emotional management skills. Certainly, some individuals might require medication to stabilize themselves once they realize they have a problem, but it is cognitive behavior modification that is the solution to depression.

Cognitive behavior modification is the understanding that emotional reactions are

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