It might be said that the majority of men have been struggling to understand the nature of women since the beginning of time. To them, we are puzzling and mysterious creatures that they will never be fully capable of comprehending. However, more often than not, we women can relate to each other completely. We are on the same page, so to speak, and we possess a unique set of qualities that allow us to share openly with each other, and to be willing to accept with gratitude the advice and wisdom of the women who have come before us. Countless women have imparted witty words of wisdom that have enlightened, uplifted, and inspired us, and these sayings contain invaluable nuggets of truth that help us to remember that we are indeed distinct and wondrous beings.

The following are several witty quotes by women:

~ "A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright." ~ Lucille Ball

~ "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." ~ Gloria Steinem

~ "I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I also know that I'm not blond." ~ Dolly Parton

~ "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." ~ Erica Jong

~ "Okay, so God made man first, but doesn't everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?" ~ Courtney Huston

~ "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" ~ Linda Ellerbee

~ "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~ Catherine Aird

~ "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didin't trust me so much." ~ Mother Theresa

~ "Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked." ~ Kimberly Broyles

~ "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." ~ Margaret Thatcher

~ "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." ~ Ann Bancroft

~ "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

~ "I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." ~ Gilda Radner

~ "When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason." ~ Molly McGee

~ "Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin." ~ Agatha Christie

~ "The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men. It's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket." ~ Anita Loos

~ "I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." ~ Jane Austen

Learn more about this author, Mary Ann Rudy.
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