by Terry Donelson

Created on: June 18, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2009

Not only can a long distance romantic relationship work; depending largely upon the personality types of the parties involved and on how often you are able to and/or want to be together, it can actually thrive.

For a brief period of time, my wife and I worked in different cities but were only an 1 1/2 hour drive apart. For the first few weeks I commuted every day. Given the cost of gasoline, however, not to mention the wear and tear on the body, we ultimately decided I should rent a small, efficiency apartment. It was little more than a place to sleep, eat and take a shower, but it worked for me.

We talked on the phone almost every night and it was no problem for me to come home on the weekends. She even came to see me occasionally and we had some pretty hot times in what she referred to as my "bachelor pad."

Looking back on that time, conjures up some mixed emotions. While I didn't especially like my job, I very much enjoyed the time I spent alone in the evenings. I would come home from work, fix a drink and have a simple supper (I'm not much of a cook). I would charcoal a burger or a steak, or just have cheese and crackers if the mood hit me. I would sit on the porch and watch the sun set, then shower, watch TV, read, or write; whatever I wanted to do. And I would go to bed whenever I got ready; sleeping smack in the middle of the bed in my quiet, dark bedroom. My wife usually sleeps with the TV on.

Other than the job, another and even more significant downside of us living separately, was that my wife does not need or desire the amount of alone time that I do. She was, therefore, not terribly happy with this arrangement and the fact that I was, resulted in her being even less happy. And as every man who has even been in a relationship knows - you can only be as happy as she is.

In all honesty, after two or three nights of sleeping alone, I was having a hard time getting to sleep, was waking up hugging my side of the bed and was going to sleep with the TV on. I was missing her terribly and looking forward with great anticipation to the weekends. While this was comforting to her, however, she was still unhappy.

For two people who are very secure in their relationship - and who both have the need for individual space and alone time, our relationship would have been ideal; we were close but not too close. And for those individuals fortunate enough to have the financial resources and who don't mind the hassles of flying, even greater distances don't necessarily

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