by Bethan Jones

Created on: June 18, 2009

Getting help for cutting, or any form of self harm, isn't easy. I've been there myself, and it's been a long, slow road for me. A lot of the time you'll wonder if it's worth it, you'll wonder who can help - who can understand what you're going through enough to be able to help you - and you'll wonder how it's even possible to find that help. But it can be done, and it's recognising that you need help that's really the first step on your journey to stopping cutting. As you work on the issues that you have to deal with you will find out new things about yourself, and realise that you are much, much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

To begin this journey then, you need to start exploring the reasons for why you self harm. You can do this on your own, and we have things that can help you, but you'll need to be prepared to deal with the answers you get. If you can get the support of a therapist, friend (online or off) or family member who you can communicate with and trust, it becomes easier to explore these issues. However you decide to examine yourself, it does and will become clear what it is that is lies at the root of your self harm.

Examining the reasons behind your self harm

We all know the urge to self harm; the way it feels when you think that nothing other than picking up that knife will help. But before you cut write down the issue that's hiding behind the urge. Look at it, and ask yourself these questions:

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

How do I feel right now?

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

Do I need to hurt myself?

Write down the answers to those questions. They are difficult ones to ask, and the answers may not be easy to hear, but in order to get help for your self harm you need to look at why you want to do it. You also need to ask yourself if there's anything else you can do instead.

Once you've thought about those questions, look at these:

How will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself?

What will hurting myself bring to the situation? What will it take away from the situation?

How do I want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get

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