by Corban Burns

Created on: June 18, 2009

What do you think-is fire good or bad? You probably would say that the answer depends on the circumstances. On a cold winter night, logs burning in a fireplace can provide much-needed warmth-that's good. Uncontrolled, however, the flames can quickly spread and destroy the entire house-that's bad.

It's similar with your emotions. When controlled, they're beneficial, enabling you to develop warm friendships. Unrestrained, your emotions can be destructive, not only to you but also to those around you.

*Defusing Anger*

It isn't easy to deal with the hurt and pain that arise when you're a victim of mistreatment. Some in that position lose their self-control. However, this is no trivial matter. Uncontrolled anger can cause you to take action that you'll later regret. So how can you control your emotions when you've been mistreated?

First, analyze the situation squarely, and see if you can settle the matter. Remember, avenging yourself will only make matters worse. After thinking the matter over, you might find that you're able to let go of resentment. Once you do that, you will reduce its hold on you.

But what if the hurt just won't go away? Well it might be time to approach the person who hurt you. Sometimes, talking about the matter allows for both parties to vent their emotions and the end result is the situation will diffuse. If that's not advisable, you might benefit by talking to your parents or a mature friend about how you feel. If someone is purposely trying to harass you, make a special effort to be kind to that one. If you let yourself be consumed with resentment, you become hopeless and allow someone else to lead your thinking and emotions. Wouldn't you rather be the one who is in control?

*Coping With Sadness*

One of the best ways to deal with troubled feelings is to talk to a parent or a mature friend or family member. However, if sadness persist it could be that you suffer from a health disorder, such as depression. If that's the case, it would be good for you to get a medical checkup. Ignoring the situation would be like turning up the volume of a car radio to drown out a knocking noise in the engine. It's far better to address the matter. Really, there's no need to be ashamed of your condition. Many youths who suffer from depression and related disorders are being helped through treatment.

Remember, your emotions are like fire. When controlled, they're beneficial; when unrestrained, they're destructive. Do your best to keep your emotions in check. True, on occasion you will likely say or do things that you later regret. But be patient. In time, you'll learn to control your emotions so that your emotions do not control you.

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