Can you remember the first time you moved to a new place, away from your folks?

I moved to Canada from India around a year ago and the memories of those first few days are still vivid.

You often remember the love and warmth that you left behind. Your warm nest beckons to you to come back and rejoin your folks.

But a part of you still wants to grow big,explore and take on the world and carve out a name for yourself. You know that to gain some you got to lose some, but that logic cannot solve the emotional conflict that rages within you.

So what do you do?

Shut out the part that longs for love?In other words, be a real man?

Or, get rid of your ambitions and rush back to the cradle?

Pretty darn confusing problem eh?

Let's see if we can find a way to integrate those two.

Listen, you gotta realize that when you came here you came with a mission. Every mission on the planet calls for its share of sacrifices.

Hmm..sounds stupid?

Ok..let me try again.

In Canada everything is different. It's tough to make real friends because of the fast paced nature of life. Also, the weather is freezing cold and honestly I miss my home-made butter chicken.

But I know that it brings for me a host of opportunities. It gives me the freedom to do whatever I want, I don't have to be a slave to the process called 'earning a living'. Wow..freedom.

What are the good points in your case? I am sure you can find some.

List them here.

1.

2.

3.

Ok, now that we have eased the pain a little, let's see what else we can do.

Do you feel lonely? I sometimes do.

For single people as myself, finding local meetup groups is a great way. And you find lots of other people in the same boat.

And guess what, without the safety net of known friends, your social and communication skills would shoot through the roof.

I can now honestly say, that I have learnt a lot of valuable life skills living on my own. Here is a brief list.

1)Cooking Yeah!

2)Public speaking and overcoming social fears(I can walk into any room or social convention by myself without the need to avert eye contact)

3)Salsa dancing( a life saving skill for single people)

Have you heard the term 'descripting' ? It means wiping the slate of your mind, 'de-scripting' the slate if you will and writing a new script for yourself from the scratch.

When you are surrounded by friends and family, sure you get a lot of love and support. But (beat me up if you will), this love comes at a price. You unconsciously (with some exceptions) buy into the negative beliefs and habits of the people you are surrounded by. These include things like believing that overeating is normal, it's ok to settle down and get rid of your goals once you are 30 ,just be content with making a living.

Trust me, I really don't think I am willing to pay that price, much as I love my family.

When you are away from your family, you get to choose what kind of habits you indulge in. And isn't that a beautiful thing?

I have improved so much with regards to controlling my emotions it is unthinkable.

When my parents visited me this year, for the time they were with me, they literally told me that I inspired them to become better people and choose better habits and thoughts.

Wow..what a compliment.

Time to end my confessional outpouring.

Bottom line isif you are on your own, even if it feels crappy, trust me, probably a lot of good is happening to you beneath the surface.

You won't feel it now, you will feel it when you go back among your own people with your new found wisdom and courage.

So get up, go outside and take a walk. It's a great day today.

Learn more about this author, Kaushik Guha.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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