by Amanda Fowler

Created on: June 17, 2009

No one can truly prepare for the death of a loved one. Even though we might be told our loved one is going to die because of some terminal sickness, it can still be a slap in the face when it does happen. Since my brother died a year ago today (06/17/09), I have wondered if the person that is going to die knows. Are they told by some higher force? And for the deaths that are sudden, do the loved ones who will survive the person know? Are we told by some higher force that something might happen?

The week before my brother's death, he began to act in a way that was different than usual. He became more talkative to everyone he loved. He called me and everyone else in his immediate family every day. Sometimes he called me two or three times a day. We had a phone conversation that lasted two hours. I told him that if my cell phone bill was high because of the conversation, I would hurt him (jokingly of course), especially since he lived right up the street from me. His response was that he would be dead before I even got that bill.

On Saturday, June 14, 2008, he gave our sister her birthday card. Her birthday is on the seventeenth. He told her he didn't think he would be in a position to give it to her on her actual birthday. That day, he did something that he hasn't done in almost twenty years. He hugged me. After he let go, he gave me a long lecture about working hard to fulfill my goals. He made me promise that no matter what happens, I will still continue to pursue my dreams.

The next day was father's day. I got a phone call from my sister telling me that my brother was being taken to the hospital. His wife found him on the floor not breathing. Now, my brother was born with heart issues. He has had a heart attack at least once a year as long as I can remember. The phone calls would be the same type of phone call, the frantic person on the other end telling me what was going on at that exact moment, what might happen, and where he would be. I have always remained calm with these calls. Not this day. I don't know how, but I knew this was it. I couldn't think. I just got in my car and drove to the hospital.

That first day was hard because the doctors didn't know anything. They couldn't tell us what happened to him or what would happen to him. The next day, the doctors told us that he had a heart attack and a brain aneurysm ruptured. The prognosis,

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