by Kimberly Roos

Created on: June 17, 2009

Co-sleeping or the family bed, as it is called today, is a personal decision for each family. There are many factors that have to be weighed. Although babies sleeping with their mothers has been around for many centuries, and in many countries is still practiced regularly, it is often frowned upon in the US.

When deciding whether your new baby will sleep with you, the most important thing you must consider is safety. Safety does play a role in all of the negativity surrounding co-sleeping. Most "roll-over accidents" occur when baby sleeps with siblings, or when baby sleeps with parents who are over exhausted or medicated (with prescriptions or alcohol). This is not an issue for all and although it should be taken into consideration, having a baby in the bed is no different than the sides of your bed. As you get older you stop falling out because you are aware of your surroundings. With that said, always make sure your partner is aware that you are bringing the baby into your bed. Never risk your baby's safety.

My family bed started within a couple of days of my son coming home from the hospital. I was breastfeeding and found it much easier to roll over and sit up to feed him than to have to go get him every two hours. My decision was purely convenience. I also found that my son slept for longer stretches when he was snuggled against me and so I was able to get more rest. Although some critics of co-sleeping say a child will never want to sleep in their own bed, let me assure you that they will. My son is now two and sleeps through the night in his own bed every night!

When trying to decide on a family or separate bed always be sure to include your partner. Having a baby in the bed affects everyone in that bed. It affects your sex life, and depending on how wild your child is, it will affect your sleep. If you feel strongly about co-sleeping, for whatever reason, breastfeeding or a need for extra bonding time, and your partner is not willing to make those sacrifices for a family bed then you should make other arrangements. Moving to a spare room temporarily might be the answer. I can't stress enough how important it is that everyone either agrees to the family bed or comes to a reasonable compromise.

My husband and I had a very hard time deciding when to give up our family bed and transition our son to his own bed and room. For us co-sleeping was a very special time. We loved waking up in the morning to our little guy climbing on top of us and laughing. It has always been our favorite time of day, but eventually we had to move him out of our bed. My son became a wild sleeper, kicking and tossing all night, so we had to get him in his own bed. Adults need sleep too! My husband and I also decided we needed to have some time for ourselves, and it is really nice not to have to sleep with feet in our face anymore.

Co-sleeping or a family bed is a personal decision, like most decisions in parenting. What is most important is doing what is right and what works for you and your family. If you are not comfortable with it don't do it, but don't let the nay-sayers prevent you from anything that makes your life easier and allows you more chances to bond with your baby. Always remember that every phase in your child's life is very short, and although at times we feel like this one will never end, you don't want to look back and say I wish I had _____ because you can never get this time back!

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