by Robert Burk

Created on: June 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 18, 2009

Humans are built for sex. It is enjoyable and when we are young a lot of things conspire to urge us into sex, sometimes before we are actually ready. In the heat of the moment we may have trouble answering the question that enters all our minds from time to time: 'Why not'? What do we say to ourselves when we wonder why we shouldn't eat that chocolate bar and french fries, why not sleep in till twelve and rob the local liquor store? People give into temptation because they haven't managed to find a reason why they should not and it always seems easier to give in than trying to explain to your friends why you can't go along, just this once.

If we all ate healthy foods it would be a lot harder for anyone to get fat, it is the preponderance of overweight people eating things they should not that makes it so hard for the rest of us to stay away from unhealthy habits. There was a time not so long ago when having sex was a big deal, something that needed a lot of justification, not any more. Now if someone is going to abstain that needs a reason. The values of modern society no longer supports a person who would prefer to wait before having sex. Abstinence, if this is the way you intend to go, has to be on your own terms and this is the way it should be. We need to make up our minds and discover our own values when it comes to our bodies.

What we need to remember is that if we are going to live by our own values not everyone is going to share them, just as not everyone is going to think it such a bad thing to rob a bank.

The values of men and women can be quite different. It has been said that men give love to get sex while women give sex to get love. Women may stop caring about the consequences but the fact remains that the consequences of a relationship will always be different for a woman than a man. Indeed the only justification for having sex during the dating period is that neither party cares if the relationship lasts or not i.e. the sex is engaged in for the pleasure. There is nothing that is more guaranteed to short circuit the development of a relationship than sex. If we understand sex to be the culmination of a bond, rather than the means to it being formed, it becomes more apparent that sex is something that needs to be introduced at the proper moment, one would say after the mutual commitment of the two persons has been established.

This does not suit many people because the implication is that sex is better held off until after marriage.

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