by Charlotte Howard

Created on: June 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2009

It is often said that you will only find out exactly how strong your marriage is once you have children. This could not be more true. A newborn baby will put strain onto the strongest of relationships, and breakdowns often occur after the first child is born. But, it is possible to keep a marriage happy and healthy even if you are both busy parents and it doesn't matter how many children you have.

Parenting takes up your time, energy and spirit. Even though you love your children with everything you have, they drain you. Exhaustion from busy parenting means that at the end of the day, when the children are asleep and you should be having some quality time with your other half, all the pair of you really want to do, is rest and prepare for the next day.

Communication

Communication is key to the survival of any relationship. It is important that you both discuss any problems or stresses together. If something is worrying you, whether it be with the children, your marriage or yourself, talk to your spouse. Discussing worries and concerns will take the weight off of your shoulders. As the saying goes: "A problem shared, is a problem halved."

It is also important that you tell each other what is going on generally. Ask about each others' day, even the mundane details can give you something new to talk about. When you are not talking, stress and anxiety build up, which can cause arguments and instead of talking, you end up shouting at each other.

Dating

Take yourself back to when you first met. Remember that new feeling, that experience of romance and lust. It is vital that you keep your marriage alive and fresh. Even if it is only once a month, hire a babysitter or ask friends or family to help so that you can both go out on a date. Do something that you both enjoy; go out for a meal and a film, go to a club, get tickets for the theater, anything to get you both out of the house! Remember that you are still a couple, even after you have had a baby.

Sex

Just because you are now parents does not mean that you have to give up on your sex life. Exhaustion is the main factor behind the sex in a marriage fading. Remind each other why you were attracted in the first place. Sometimes sex is disturbed by a child waking up, so organise an overnight babysitter; a grandparent, aunt or uncle. Book a hotel and stay away from the home. Or alternatively, ask if your child can stay at their house. Camp-outs are great fun and children love spending time with their

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