by Lacey Nix

Created on: June 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 18, 2009

It has been said that the biggest test of any relationship, is having children and many parents will tell that it is true. Bringing a child into an already complicated relationship can either make or break you, but the key to your result, is in your commitment to a happy marriage.

Many psychologists will tell you that marriage is less about lust and love and more about hard work and dedication, this is especially true when you have children. The biggest stress to your marriage after having a child is the shift in attention from your marriage to your baby. If you are giving all your love and attention to your baby, you might begin neglecting your marriage. While there is no perfect solution for this problem, there are some helpful hints that can help you keep a happy home, in all aspects.

Take care of your baby, but make sure to take care of your marriage too.

When parents first have a child, it is natural to focus all the energy and love into the new baby. While it is great for the child initially, it can cause problems in the marriage, which will eventually effect the child. Parents must remember to focus on each other as well as the baby.

Find time for your marriage.

Get creative. Some parents have no support system to ask for a babysitter, so if this is your situation, you must find ways to spend time alone. If you can't get a babysitter every once in awhile, make a commitment to spend time alone with your spouse when your baby goes to sleep. Take advantage of nap time, not to clean, but to keep your marriage in tact. Or ask a friend or family member to help out once in awhile. It is not a bad thing to be away from your baby for a few hours. Actually you coming back to the baby revived and less stressed is a good thing.

Share in the parental responsibilites.

If you share your responsibilities, you avoid one partner feeling they have all the burden and no help. If you talk about these things in advance, you can develop a nice schedule and list of responsibilities that you can both agree on. If you are happy with your spouse and their contribution to the baby, then your marriage will remain strong and you won't have to fight about the baby.

Take a day for only you and your spouse.

Find a way, no matter how you do it, to find one day a month to do something that does not involve the baby. Try to do something you did before you had the baby. Try to use the time to relight the old flame. Go out on a date, read a book under a tree, have a romantic dinner. Whatever you do, do something fun and make it so great that you will look forward to it every month.

The key to managing a new baby and your marriage is simple, love your baby and love your marriage too. Find balance between these relationships and never neglect your spouse.

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