by Roxanna Kay

Created on: June 16, 2009   Last Updated: June 18, 2009

Seventeen years of single parenting began with a one year old and a two year old. Yes, both still in diapers. Each childhood stage brings a whole new set of challenges and I've been through them all, alone. So allow me to enlighten you on the secret to successful single parenting. This one thing alone, will make every other challenge that crosses your path easier to overcome.

A well behaved child is the key to single parenting. A single parent has to execute every duty that is normally done by two parents. You're the one, the only one, you're all there is. A person can't function with screaming, whining brats. Do not respond to a whining child. Tell them to speak to you in a normal voice so you can understand them. Then, do not respond until they do, followed by a thank you for doing what you asked. Positive reinforcement goes a long way, so watch the things you say to your children!

It's never too early to educate your children, how to treat you! Do not falter in teaching children appropriate behavior. Be consistent in teaching your children not to beg and whine, which will drive a single parent over the edge. Don't give them three chances to behave like human beings, reprimand them immediately. Parents can't teeter with consistency, it's all or nothing.

If you tell a child you are going to do something, do it! You don't want your children to think you are a liar or a pushover. My kids knew when I said no, I meant it. They didn't beg or whine, because they knew without a doubt, that behavior would sling them into the depths of discipline. When I told them we would get ice cream, we got the ice cream. Teach them by example to be as good as their word. Something this country lacks today. Children need boundaries. Taught early, while they are still eager to please, creates a pleasant older child and teenager.

I coached baseball, cheerleading and basketball and even the brats of the team knew when I said something, that's what was going to happen. No tolerance. I was the coach, the adult and I called the shots. Once I even booted a kid off my team for being extremely unruly. Having to deal with him took away from the rest of my team and that was unacceptable. After a few weeks he came to me apologizing and promised to be respectful.

Consequently, he was the best third baseman I could ask for. Sadly, that was his first lesson in respect for others. His parents had not taught him such manners. It was a great pleasure to watch him discover the fun side of life, without all the negative behavior. I can tolerate laughter and silliness all day long, but throw in a whiny brat and disciplinary actions will be taken, I guarantee!

Quality time spent with my kids was priceless, no tantrums, focus was on fun and laughter. The older they got the less strict I had to be. They knew right from wrong and I could trust that they would make good choices. They knew without a doubt that bad behavior had consequences. Kids these days get away with so much at home that they think rules outside of the home don't apply to them. Subsequently, as adults they break the law and expect to not be reprimanded.

Hold your children to a higher standard and watch them excel beyond your expectations!

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